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As Salaamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh My Dear Sisters Who Have Embraced Islam
InshaAllah you all are in the best of states.
My dear sisters, do not ever allow anyone to make you feel as though you are not a 'good Muslim' because you are not doing things their way. Maybe you aren't doing something correctly....but we each learn and grow at our own, unique pace - no two people are alike. We are all gradually transitioning in one way or another – and some make these transitions more rapidly than others – doing more and doing it faster does not equate to doing it better – and it certainly does not make a person a better Muslim. Go at your own pace….you know yourself.
My dear sisters, do not ever allow anyone to make you feel as though you do not 'have what it takes' to make your own decisions about what is right for you or to do something on your own - not regarding religion, not regarding your livelihood, not regarding your career, not regarding relationships, not regarding your ideas. This does not mean that you will not ever need to seek the advice of others – it means that you should not be taking advice from someone who is pushing you to accept it – or who gives you unsolicited advice and may become angry or hostile if you do not accept it…..You have what it takes...you are enough.
My dear sisters, do not ever allow anyone to make you feel as though you do not have a correct understanding of Islam simply because they said so and they've been 'Muslim their whole life'. Being born into a Muslim family does not confer Islam upon a person - it just doesn't.....don't let anyone tell you different.
My dear sisters, do not ever allow anyone to make you feel as though you must accept their opinion on any or everything over your own. When a person does not encourage you to seek knowledge for yourself or causes you to experience self-doubt to such an extent that you feel the need to consult them even for simple decisions, go the other direction.
My dear sisters, do not ever allow any man to make you feel as though he loves you without making a commitment. It does not matter what words he has said. It does not matter what his actions have implied. It does not matter what promises he has made. It does not matter what gifts he has given. It does not matter what ‘lengths or distances he has gone to be with you’. It does not matter...if he has not married you, has not told his family or friends about you, or has not made his intentions crystal clear so there is no room for doubt, go the other direction. You deserve better. You deserve clarity. You deserve honesty. You do.
My dear sisters, do not ever allow anyone to make you feel as though you must obey their directions, follow their suggestions, or always agree with their opinions or you risk losing their friendship or love. If disagreeing with their opinions, suggestions, or directions causes you to lose their friendship or love, it wasn’t real anyways – go the other direction.
Each one of these points is a red flag on its own – and if you can check off more than one – go the other direction – I am begging you as your sister in humanity – please take this to heart – because I would not wish what I am going through on my worst enemy – and I certainly wouldn’t wish it on those I hold dear.
I love you all for the sake and pleasure of Allah, Most High – and I pray for all of you each day. I pray that Allah protects your hearts, your minds, your souls. I pray that Allah protects you from abuse in all its forms, guides each of your steps to what is pleasing to Him, that he brings you ever closer to Him, and protects you from deceit. I pray that Allah protects you from Shaytan in all his forms and from jinn in all their forms. I pray that He loves you, forgives you for any and every wrong, and heals all hurt . I pray that Allah blesses you with the best of successes in this life and the Hereafter and that He will always be your Protecting Friend and Guide. I pray all these things for you and for me.
I love you, even if I don’t agree with you – My love for you is not dependent upon your ability to see and do things my way.
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