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The feeling you get every year when Ramadan starts coming to a close is one of longing and melancholy, as if you know that a loved one is about to leave you and there is no certainty that he will ever come back again. You start to analyze the ibadah that you have done, and you wonder if it was worthy of acceptance. You begin to get worried that the opportunity of forgiveness and a new beginning is slipping through your fingers like sand and you try frantically to make the most of the few precious days remaining. It's always as if you are never ready for Ramadan to leave.

Ramadan is a much needed jolt out of the complacency of our daily lives. It forces us to put aside the dunya for a bit, to reawaken our inner selves, and to reflect on the meaning of our existence. And of course, it is a mercy and a blessing that allows us the opportunity for forgiveness and becoming closer to our Creator. Usually, when you mention the practice of Ramadan fasting to those who don't do it, you get a look of pity as if you are enduring an extreme hardship, and you hear comments like 'only 'X' amount of days left!'. I know people mean well though, and I can't blame them for not knowing about something they have never experienced. I wish I could explain to them the spiritual high, peace, and tranquility that is experienced by so many during this blessed month. It really is an incomparable state of being, and the moment Ramadan ends it starts to slowly diminish, leaving us with a sense of loss and longing.

Once Ramadan is over, we can only hope and pray that all of our ibadah has been accepted and that we have been given a fresh start in our lives. The goal is that after it is over, we are better people than we were before it began. In this way, each Ramadan is a like step that brings us closer to our Maker. The hope is that we get to see many more Ramadans, and that we have the opportunity to climb higher and higher on those steps. Ramadan, we will miss you, but we will try our best to keep your memory strong through our newly improved selves, and we will wait anxiously for your return.

Rizwana Khan is currently a stay-at-home mom. She is a public health professional, specifically in the field of biostatistics.

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